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The Christi Center

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Summer (Grief) Reading List for Kids + Teens

June 14, 2018 by Lara Leave a Comment

School is out, days are long–which means more time for reading. Whether it’s planning for relaxing days on the beach, at Barton Springs Pool, or inside soaking up some cool A/C, we are often looking for a good read in the summer. If your mind is occupied with grief matters, perhaps reading a grief tale will help you find connections and a different perspective. A couple of summers ago, we compiled a list for adult readers, but this summer, we asked our staff for their recommendations for grief reading for kids and teens:

For Kids

 

 Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children, by Bryan Mellonie.  The crux of the book explains in a beautiful way about beginnings, ending, and living in between!

 

Not the End: A Child’s Journey Through Grief, by Mari Dombkowski.  This book is special to me because the local author came and read the book to our Kids Who Kare group a couple of years ago, and recently stopped by to give us a few copies of her latest Spanish version of the book.  Based on a true story, this book describes a family’s journey through loss, providing insight and hope to the fact that as painful as loss can be, it is not the end of a family’s story, but rather, a very important chapter.

 

 The Invisible String, by Patrice Karst.  My all-time favorite, this bestseller is touching and comforting for all ages, because it describes the heart-to-heart connection that we never lose even when people become separated or when they die….the binding connection of love.

 

– Christi Neville, LPC – Peer Support Coordinator

 

My go to for bibliotherapy with children who have experienced trauma (including traumatic loss) is A Terrible Thing Happened, by Margaret M Holmes. A children’s book that tells the story of Sherman, who had a terrible thing happen to him; it addresses themes of physical and emotional symptoms of trauma and working with helping professionals to feel better.

 

-Jessica W. Brown, M.A., Program Coordinator

 

 

For Young Adults

 

My current favorite book is, I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter by Erika Sanchez
This book follows a young Mexican-American girl named Julia, who is searching for meaning after her older sister’s death. The story shows the struggles with that a family can have after their family is impacted by losing a loved one.

 

Sisterhood Everlasting by Ann Brashares
SPOILER ALERT: Part of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series, this book is about the bonds of young sisterhood changing as the characters become adults. Dealing with careers boyfriends, marriage, moves, the young women of this novel must navigate those challenges while also learning to navigate the sudden loss of a friend.

 

Everything We Keep: A Novel (Book 1 of 3) by Kerry Lonsdale
Everything We Keep is about a young woman named Aimee who has the perfect life: marrying her childhood sweetheart, perfect parents, and her dream job. But when her fiance vanishes after a trip, Aimee is left broken and has to put herself back together while also trying to keep her life afloat. Definitely a beach/park read.

 

– Jocelyn Chamra-Barrera, LMSW – Bilingual Support Coordinator

 

My favorite book about grief and death is young adult fantasy trilogy: The Abhorsen Series by Garth Nix.

Couched within an action-packed, fantasy setting, a teenage girl learns that her father, The Abhorsen, keeper of  the dead, is missing and has passed into death. The series explores themes of loss, grief, and how we mourn our loved ones, as life continues around us. The protagonists in the series are all teenagers, and struggle with identity, fitting in and growing up. I appreciate this series for addressing a young adult audience and it’s non-stigmatizing approach to death and loss.

 

-Jessica W. Brown, M.A., Program Coordinator

 


Editor’s Note: We’ve linked Amazon here for ease and completeness of information about the books on our recommendation list, but also encourage kids and parents to check out your local library or independent book store. The City of Austin has a summer reading program for kids, 5 Book Dive, and children who complete 5 books over the summer can earn $5 credit at BookPeople. 
Filed Under: Blog, Loss of a Friend, loss of a loved one to suicide, loss of a parent, loss of a sibling, Uncategorized Tagged With: books, children, kids, kids and grief, reading, recommended books, recommended reading, Teens

Your 2015 Summer Grief Reading List

July 30, 2015 by Lara 4 Comments

Summertime and reading often go hand-in-hand. While it might be a good time for some escapist novel, adding to your knowledge bases, or a good old cathartic cry might be just what you’re looking for this summer. To help inspire your, we collected some of the books our Christi Center team find inspiring, helpful, or resonant.

Erin, Program Manager:

Helping Bereaved Children: A Handbook for Practitioners, edited by Nancy Boyd Webb – Even though this book is written for those working with grieving children, it’s accessible and a great all around text for those who many come into contact with those children, like parents or teachers

Why is God Laughing: The Path to Joy and Spiritual Optimism by Deepak Choprawhy is god laughing

A slightly irreverent, sarcastic and funny look at how to not only be okay with the obstacles we face in life, but how to grow from them.

Transcending Loss: Understanding the Lifelong Impact of Grief and How to Make It Meaningful by Ashley Davis Prend, ACSW – Making meaning in grief and how to grow into your “new normal”

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion – A clear and unflinching account of the changes, sometimes minute by minute, that can happen as we journey through grief.

How to Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies by Therese A. Rando, PhD – a primer on what to expect from grief, the effects of grief and potential triggers.  While written by a clinician, the language is easily accessible and thorough.

Life After Death: The Burden of Proof by Deepak Chopra – A blend of current science and Chopra’s signature way of writing about spirituality.


 

Kellie, Intern:the book of lost things

Wild by Cheryl Strayed – Author’s recollections of the lengths we will go to go find ourselves after loss.

The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly – A young adult novel about mourning, not only of a loved one, but mourning the life we no longer have.


 

Olivia, Finance Assistant:

The Loss That Is Forever by Maxine Harris is a book containing stories from 66 interviewees conducted by the author.  The sample interviewees all were self-selected and had one thing in common; they had all lost a parent in childhood, (0 -18 years of age).  While the group of interviewees was in no way a scientific sampling, the author did an excellent job compiling and documenting pertinent information gathered from the interviews and focusing the book on the lifelong impact of losing a parent in childhood.  The idea that this is an experience that will stay with someone for a lifetime is thoroughly explored and captured in this book, through chapters about the actual event itself, the surviving parent, creating the self, adult milestones (relationships, parenting), mortality, and acts of repair.


 

Susan, volunteer:

Kay Redfield Jamison, Nothing was the Same: a Memoir. Non-Fiction. Read in the first two years of the loss of my husband. She is the premier authority on bi-polar disorder, herself bi-polar, and she wrote a wonderful book on suicide called Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide. It was interesting in the distinctions she made between grief and depression. And, she tried so hard to find comfort in literature, ritual and writing.

year of magical thinkingJoan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking. Brutally honest at how bad this famous writer felt, all the misgivings about self-pity, and yet an understanding of how the loss of a soul mate can totally knock you down.  Read it in the 2nd year of widowhood. Non-Fiction.

Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry. Fiction. Read in 4th year of widowhood, and found amazingly healing. The wisdom of this book cannot be underestimated. Widowed twice, Hannah goes on with such honesty and insight. I think it an extremely healing book, but I am not sure it could have been so healing for me in the beginning.

Best grief articles I have read are:

Mark Epstein, “The Trauma of Being Alive”, New York Times, August 3, 2013. Buddhist psychologist, who says that you just don’t get over it.

Ashley Davis Bush, “Grief Intelligence: A Primer”.  She has also written a book, Transcending Loss, which I have not read. States there is no timetable for grief, one is changed, but one can transcend it in touching others.


 

Christi, Peer Support & Kids Who Kare Coordinator:

Stitches: A Handbook on Meaning, Hope and Repair, by Anne Lamott. Anne Lamott, one of my favorite authors, writes about real stuff for real people! This book poses the question, how do we stitch back the fabric of our lives after it has been shredded by catastrophe? In her unique style of down to earth humor and witty wisdom, she explores how we find meaning in dark times, how we recapture spiritual wholeness after loss…..one stitch at a time.

Continuing Bonds, by Dennis Klass.  Though written by a prominent researcher  in the field of bereavement, this book is written for the lay person….for anyone who has experienced a loss and finds it unnaturally difficult to simply “let go”.  It quietly questions previously dominant models of grief, and suggests that instead of detaching from our deceased loved ones, it may be more healing to find healthy ways to continue a relationship with them, as other cultures often do.

healing into life and death coverHealing into Life and Death, by Steven Levine.  Steven Levine’s writings have long been a shining light to me in the dark nights of my soul.  He and his wife have worked closely throughout past decades with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, as well as Ram Dass and many others who have left valuable footprints in the field of death and dying, and the field of spirituality and consciousness. This book offers original ways of bringing in loving kindness to ourselves while working with our pain.

When Children Grieve, by John James, Russell Friedman, and Leslie Landon Matthews.  This book offers adults innovative ways of helping children with experiences with loss. Leslie Landon is the late Michael Landon’s daughter.


 

Lara, Director of Community Engagement:

Kitchen, by Banana Yoshimoto. I read this many, many years ago, but the depiction of a relationship between 3 people brought together after a loss really stood out to me, especially the emptiness and aimlessness of the days after the lead character’s most recent loss (and final familial connection.

Naked, by David Sedaris. After spending most of this collection of short stories describing humorous anecdotes from his youth, Sedaris’s last story describes the illness and death of his mother, while never losing the humor, a lot of love and grief is presented. Sedaris also describes the aftermath of his youngest sister’s suicide in this New Yorker article: “Now We Are Five”, and comparing Sedaris’ responses to the two deaths are interesting for their similarities and differences.

after visiting friendsAfter Visiting Friends, by Michael Hainey. Full disclosure: I’m currently reading this, but I’m gripped by the way Hainey describes the secrets surrounding his father’s death when he was just 6 years old, and how healing it has been for his family to unravel those secrets. I really love how Hainey is able to articulate the feelings of a young child after loss:

After he died, silence descends. Silence and fear. My twin poles: my binary black holes. I live in fearof upsetting my mother, of even uttering my father’s name. I believe that even by saying his name, I might kill her. Or she might kill me.


 

Alice, volunteer:

I remember really liking A Grief Observed by C. S. Lewis because of its raw honesty.


 

Cathy, Crime Victim’s Advocate:

Good Grief by Granger E. Westberg is for the person who is limited in concentration, this one is a step-by-step walk-through of grief. The easiest tool for someone who is having a hard concentration block. It’s a layman’s book for grief, and this short book ends on a positive note.

We’d love to hear your suggestions—what book or books that deal with grief have resonated with you? Have you read any of these? What did you think? Please share in the comments below!

Filed Under: Blog, loss of a loved one to suicide, loss of a parent, loss of a sibling Tagged With: reading list, recommended books, recommended reading
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