Volunteer Spotlight

Heart Connections: Finding Total Peace and Forgiveness

January 15, 2018 by Cara Leave a Comment

Elaine Miller

Elaine Miller’s introduction to The Christi Center started back in 1999 when her husband died by suicide. With three children under 13, Elaine found her way to The Christi Center (then called For the Love of Christi) in spring of 1999. She spent 45 minutes on the phone with the person who answered it. “I was just blown away by the fact that they just listened to my story when I didn’t know where else to go”, says Elaine. She started attending the Loss of a Spouse group and brought her children to Kids Who Kare. Fast forward 13 years, and Elaine found herself at The Christi Center once again.

This time, she was a Christi Center intern for her counseling degree. She worked with the Kids Who Kare group in Georgetown, Austin Monday night groups, and Loss to Suicide groups. Staying on as a dedicated volunteer after her internship concluded, she now facilitates the Georgetown Loss to Suicide group.

For Elaine, volunteering has become an important part of coming full circle and finding healing in her own grief journey. “Listening to other people’s stories and telling your own repeatedly helps your brain catch up with your heart in understanding your reality. Suicide has such stigma and you feel bad that you can’t forgive this person – you’re so angry at them and other people don’t understand that. I finally came to total peace and forgiveness with all that. Knowing I can help people with that part of their journey – the healing and forgiveness to find peace – is why I do this.”

Filed Under: Blog, Heart Connections, loss of a loved one to suicide, Loss of a Spouse or Partner, Volunteer Spotlight

Heart Connections: When A Simple Hug Sparks a Chain Reaction of Love

October 12, 2017 by Cara 1 Comment

Christi Center Founders Susan and Don Cox with Dr. Dina O’Brien (center)

When University of Texas sophomore Dina Ragow called The Christi Center, she had no idea how much it would change everything – both then and in the future. Dina had just lost her mother to colon cancer, right on the heels of losing her only sibling, Dana, to leukemia just two years prior. She could not fathom how she would survive life as an only child and a motherless daughter.

At The Christi Center, Founder Susan Cox (who started the organization after her daughter Christi was killed by a drunk driver) welcomed Dina with open arms. “Susan and I connected in a way words can’t describe”, says Dina. She started regularly attending grief support groups at the Center on Monday nights.

“When you’re in the thick of it, nothing else matters – not what bills have to get paid, who you have to call back, what’s for dinner, what you’re wearing that day. You just want to feel like someone else gets it – like you’re not the only one whose heart is permanently broken”, says Dina. It took time and a lot of hard work, but after many months of attending group, one night a new member came to group and shared about the recent death of her brother. When she talked about the overwhelming, choking feelings of grief that were drowning her, and how she did not know how she would get up the next day, Dina says it suddenly struck her like a ton of bricks – “I am not there anymore. I have made progress, and I’m not stuck in that place that I was before – and thought I would be forever”.

Dina realized that when she first came to the Center, there were others further along in their grief journey that had helped her to feel not alone and who had also given her inspiration that she could get up and survive the unbearable pain for one more day. And now – she had become one of them. It was her turn to give back.

She continued to attend groups regularly, but also helped Susan start the Kids Who Kare program for grieving children, as well as services for students at The University of Texas. “I felt like my love for my mom and sister, as well as my connection to Susan and (husband) Don were guiding my way towards helping this organization grow and expand its services,” says Dina.

That was 27 years ago. Today Dr. Dina O’Brien is a child psychologist, dedicating her life to helping children and families navigate emotions such as grief and loss. Now married with 4 (!) boys of her own, Dina proudly serves on The Christi Center’s Advisory Council, helps facilitates groups from time to time, and is a powerful ambassador for the organization – sharing the miracles that happen here every day.

“The Christi Center allowed me to find hope again and to honor the memories of my loved ones by living the best life I possibly can on this earth each day. Don and Susan and I still share an unbreakable bond – our heart connection that was formed by the amazing love we share for those we lost too soon. They will always be “parents” to me and Nana and Gramps to my boys, and I am honored beyond measure to be considered like a daughter to them. I know Christi and my mom and sister wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Filed Under: Blog, Heart Connections, loss of a parent, loss of a sibling, Testimonials, Volunteer Spotlight, volunteer Spotlight, volunteering

Heart Connections: Kids Giving Back

November 29, 2016 by Lara Leave a Comment

by Roque Hesson

Overcoming losing my mother when I was five, my brother when I was ten, and my stepmother when I was twenty-two has shown me so much. The grief process will never be the same for everyone; the grief process will never be delicate; the grief process will never become routine. There is this taboo in our society regarding silencing our grief, but we ALL go through it at some point. By sharing your grief experience through verbal communication, meditation, art, and any other form that helps you express it is the best way to begin to heal yourself and your community.

I was the Wine Buyer and a Manager at neighboring café near The Christi Center a few years back, and I was quickly surrounded by people who attended meetings at the Center. I was in awe of their honesty about their grief journey. Growing up, I had always felt so alone in my grief, and here I was meeting so many who were honest and open about their losses. When I decided it was time to start giving back to the community, The Christi Center was the first place that popped into my mind. We all experience grief, but so few feel supported in their journey. There is a severe lack of resources in our country for ongoing grief support, and we are extremely lucky to have The Christi Center continually here for us.

I am a volunteer for The Kids Who Kare group at the Center. The kids who attend the group are always surprising me with their maturity, eloquence, bravery, and honesty. I am continually blown away by how much the kids support and nurture one another. They listen to each other’s concerns, and are able to feel empowered in their own grief by supporting each other. Every time I volunteer, I walk away in awe of what these children have to offer. They don’t understand capacity of their strength yet, but when they do, the world better watch out! These are truly children that possess the tools to change their communities.

This is a picture of my stepmom and myself showing off our dance moves in the backyard. Some of the best memories that I have of her are when she would bust out dancing in the middle of the kitchen. Love and miss her so 🙂

Filed Under: Blog, Heart Connections, loss of a parent, loss of a sibling, Volunteer Spotlight, volunteer Spotlight, volunteering

Why I Volunteer: Finding My Voice

May 5, 2015 by Lara Leave a Comment

by Stephanie Williams

This past Christmas, I was waiting with my husband at our departure gate in the airport on our way to visiting my family for the holidays. The quiet man next to me turned and suddenly told me that we made a lovely couple and reminded him of his son. While striking up a conversation, I soon learned that his son had recently passed away in an accident, leaving behind a wife and two children. The gentleman at the airport spoke slowly and solemnly about dealing with death’s aftermath regarding his son’s business affairs and the strained personal relations between grieving family members who could no longer relate to each other. His story was honest and raw and poured out of him unprovoked. While I listened and gently asked questions, the moment felt like the culmination of the training that I’ve received as a Healing Heart Ambassador at The Christi Center.

Healing Heart Ambassadors (l-r) Jackie, Brooke, Stephanie, Carissa, Jessica & Adrienne

I was not drawn to work for The Christi Center because of a personal experience with loss. Instead, I recognized my own discomfort and inability to find the right words to say as I interacted with friends and family members who were grieving. “Safe” sentiments commonly seemed pithy and disingenuous, but I didn’t want to delve too personal for fear of upsetting them. Consequently, I never knew the right thing to say and sometimes said nothing at all.

Recognizing this helplessness, I was drawn to volunteer at The Christi Center. As a member of the Junior League of Austin, I select a placement each year from a list of community agencies to commit to volunteer for one year. By volunteering for different community agencies in Austin, I’ve had the opportunity to learn about the social and economic impact non-profits can make in our local community. Volunteering in this capacity has given me a great opportunity to learn about some of the smaller non-profits in Austin and see the influences individuals can make for a defined purpose.

I’ve greatly enjoyed the past year working with the wonderful staff at The Christi Center and feel that I’ve received considerable grief and counseling training. This year has empowered me to feel equipped to be open and responsive to my loved ones when they encounter loss and also to be prepared to recommend the services of The Christi Center to those I encounter who could benefit.

The Ambassadors really got into the Purple Zebra theme! ((l-r) Carissa, Stephanie, Brooke and Jackie)

I don’t know why the grieving man at the airport felt compelled to share his story with me. I hope that I presented a warm and considerate confidence and I’m glad he felt he could trust me. I was able to share the mission and purpose of The Christi Center with him and I hope his family will attend group sessions. In that moment, I truly felt like a healing heart ambassador and that I was successfully fulfilling the partnership between The Christi Center and the JLA.

About the Author

Stephanie Williams has been a member of the Junior League of Austin since 2011 and has volunteered as a Healing Heart Ambassador at The Christi Center for the past year. She has lived in Austin for eight years with her husband Ryan.

Filed Under: Blog, Volunteer Spotlight, volunteering Tagged With: education and trainings, Junior League of Austin, what to say

Pieces of a Beautiful Mosaic

May 19, 2014 by Lara 1 Comment

by Janet Brown

This is a photo of me and my grandson, Jacob. His dad Joshua passed away when he was only 6 years old. Joshua was my only child. He was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer on October 12, 1998 and battled for two years. He died on October 4, 2000 at the age of 27. My world suddenly stopped.

Joshua will always be missing in the rest of our photos.

I think I knew I needed help with my grief process but I didn’t have any idea where to go. After eight long years of silent suffering and medications, my doctor suggested I go to Hospice Austin and talk with a therapist. I was eligible for six free sessions, since Joshua used their services when he was ill. After pouring out my broken heart in these sessions my therapist suggested I go to The Christi Center for additional help with my healing. I thought to myself, “What??!! I’m not well yet?” I just wanted to feel better. I wanted a magic pill to make all the pain go away.

I took her advice her advice and started attending the moms’ Monday group meetings. Going to my first meeting was the hardest and scariest decision I ever made. I remember years ago seeing Susan Cox on TV being interview about “For the Love of Christi “. I thought, “Oh how sad for those poor moms.” And years later, here I am.

With the love from The Christi Center I have come a long way in my grief journey. During my first few meetings I didn’t say anything. Just listened to the other moms tell their stories. There was no judgment or expectations. I learned I wasn’t alone in my grief. Wow! That was a revelation.

The most important thing I learned is that my grief is a life long journey. First minute by minute, then hour by hour, then day by day, then year by year. So I am evolving in my understanding of my grief and also trying to give hope to those new moms in grief.

Another way that has helped in my healing is to volunteer at The Christi Center. It lets me be a part of something bigger than myself. My stand out moment while volunteering was the fact that I wanted to volunteer. After experiencing what an awesome organization The Christi Center is and how many people they have helped, who wouldn’t want to volunteer? If I may quote a friend, Mary Graf, another volunteer: “We are all just small pieces of a beautiful mosaic.”

I think the best way to help a friend who is grieving is to first bring them to the Christi Center. I wish someone would have invited me years earlier than I went. Also be a good listener and don’t give advice on how they should be feeling. Be ready for your friend not to be themself. Just be there for them.

Filed Under: bereavement, Blog, depression, grieving, loss of a child, Uncategorized, Volunteer Spotlight