Grief for Nontheists
June 25, 2013 by 2 Comments
After a hiatus in the Diverse Expressions of Grief series, the series returns with an installment exploring what grief is like for nontheists, or those who do not believe in a deity or deities.
Overview of Nontheism
Nontheism is an umbrella term that covers a range of beliefs characterized by the absence or rejection of belief in deities. The opposite of nontheist is theist, or those who believe in the existence of a deity or deities. While nontheism includes many different belief groups, its most prominent belief groups are atheism and agnosticism.
According to their simplest definitions, atheism is characterized by the belief that no deities exist, while agnosticism is characterized by the belief that deities may or may not exist. While atheism is defined by a firm belief that deities do not exist, agnosticism is defined by a lack of firm belief in either the existence or lack of existence of deities, because it posits that it is not possible for humans to know whether deities do or do not exist.
Within these two simplified definitions of atheism and agnosticism are more nuanced subcategories of nontheistic belief. Different versions of classifying these subcategories exist, including Richard Dawkins’ spectrum of theistic probability. His spectrum describes seven places upon a spectrum of belief in the probability of the existence of deities, with 1 being a person who is a “strong theist” and 7 being a person who is a “strong atheist.”
Nontheism can be irreligious, but not always; many religions are either inherently nontheist, or have a subset of the religion that is nontheist. An example of a nontheist religion is Buddhism, and an example of a nontheist subset of a religion is humanistic Judaism.
Given the complexity of nontheism, it is difficult to capture an accurate and all-inclusive picture on exactly who nontheists are and where they are in the world, but various sets of data illuminate pieces of the picture. According to a 2010 survey by the Encyclopedia Brittanica, people who identify as non-religious made up 9.6% of the world population, and atheists about 2% of the world population. In the United States, only about 4% of the population identifies as atheist, but elsewhere rates of atheism as well as other types of nontheism are much higher. Canada, Australia, Asia, and several countries within western and northwestern Europe have higher percentages of nontheism, with 10 to 50% of their populations identifying as atheist, agnostic, or non-religious. Japan, Vietnam, Sweden, Denmark, and Norway have the highest percentages, with 60 to 80% of their populations identifying as atheist, agnostic, or non-religious.
Different perspectives on loss and grief
Those who are nontheists may have very different perspectives on life and loss than those who are theist. An excerpt from Greta Christina’s Blog, a personal blog by a self-identified atheist, describes some the possible different perspectives that can exist between a nontheist and a theist:
“The idea that life is eternal and we’ll see our loved ones again someday is radically different from the idea that life is transitory and therefore ought to be intensely treasured. The idea that life and death are part of God’s benevolent plan is radically different from the idea that life and death are part of natural cause and effect, and that we and our loved ones are part of the physical universe and are intimately connected with it.
The idea that our dead loved ones are no longer suffering because they’re in a blissful Heaven is radically different from the idea that our dead loved ones are no longer suffering because they no longer exist, and that being dead is no more painful or frightening than not having been born yet. The idea that death is an illusion is radically different from the idea that death is necessary for life and change to be possible.
The idea that the soul will live forever is radically different from the idea that things don’t have to be permanent to be valuable and meaningful. The idea that there will be a final judgment in which the bad are punished and the good are rewarded is radically different from the idea that we were all phenomenally, astronomically lucky to have been born at all. The idea that our loved ones will always live on in an afterlife is radically different from the idea that we keep our loved ones alive in our memories, and that they live on in the ways they changed us and the world.” – Greta Christina
Nontheists and theists alike can have deeply moving beliefs about life and loss, but given that they can be radically different from each other, it can be difficult for a nontheist to find connection in the same ideas that a theist connects to. This can lead to uncomfortable and even hurtful experiences for a grieving nontheist who is being comforted by others. A few examples of common phrases and ideas expressed during times of grief that may be hurtful to a nontheist are:
“God has a plan”
“They are in Heaven/a better place now”
“You will see the person again someday”
“They are watching over you now”
While some common ideas and expressions of comfort for grievers can explicitly be tied to theist belief, some are less obviously tied to theist concepts. As a result, many nontheists who are grieving find that even when they request a “secular” funeral or memorial ceremony, the ceremony is still infused with ideas and expressions that do not align with their nontheist beliefs. This misunderstanding can make an already difficult time even worse for a griever.
Resources for Nontheist Grievers
For those who are nontheist and grieving the loss of a loved one or know a person who is, there are many resources that can provide knowledge, comfort, and community:
Grief Beyond Belief: a Facebook group for grievers who are “living without religious belief” or are questioning their faith belief. It was founded by a mother who lost her infant son after she had difficulty finding a place for grief support, on the Internet or in-person, that understood her atheistic perspective.
Godless Grief: An Atheist Discussion of Death, Grief, and Family Loss, compiled by Cathe Jones: a book written from a nontheistic perspective that discusses all forms of loss and grief. It also provides guidance on issues that can stem from loss and grief. The book is available in both print and e-book forms.
There is also an extensive online community for nontheistic believers contained within affiliation websites, informational websites, personal blogs, and message boards, some of which are included in the following sources list. Some may touch upon loss and grief, while others are solely devoted to loss and grief. For many nontheists, this extensive online community can replace the general lack of physical community that many nontheistic believers experience. An Internet search on any particular nontheist belief will yield links to sources of this online community.
Reflections
While nontheistic belief is common in certain parts of the world, it is not in the United States. Those with theist beliefs can typically take for granted that the comforts they receive in their times of grief will often if not always reflect and affirm their beliefs about life and loss, but this is not easy for nontheists to find.
This fact can serve as a reminder to always be gentle and thoughtful with someone who is grieving. As every person, every loss, and every grief is different, it is impossible to know upfront what a person will need in order to find comfort. In times like this, to quote my Loss and Grief course professor from my undergraduate social work program, “ask questions!” If you are confronted with a person who has suffered a loss and is grieving, simply asking if the person identifies with any particular spiritual or faith beliefs (or, conversely, do not identify with any particular spiritual or faith beliefs) can be a good starting point to being able to truly comforting that person. If they identify with a belief that you are unfamiliar with (whether it be theist or nontheist), and the situation and relationship make it appropriate to ask questions about the person’s beliefs, then consider asking what ideas the person finds comforting in their time of grief. Thoughtfully providing condolences to a person who thinks differently from you can potentially feel different or uncomfortable, but doing so could also remove the burden of uncomfortable experiences that those with uncommon beliefs may often feel in an already difficult time.
About the Author:
Hilary Dockray came to know The Christi Center through her full-time field internship as a graduate student from The University of Texas at Austin’s School of Social Work. Her favorite hobby is writing, so she is delighted to continue to advocate for the understanding of grief and those who grieve as a guest blogger for The Christi Center.
Sources
Below are just some of the online resources I used to research for this installment of the Diverse Expressions of Grief series. They are a great place to start if you want to learn even more about nontheism and grief for nontheists.
Nontheism Types and Definitions
http://www.religioustolerance.org/at_ag_hu.htm
http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/mathew/intro.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atheism
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agnosticism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nontheism
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spectrum_of_theistic_probability
Blog and Online Articles On Nontheistic Grief
http://www.npr.org/2013/01/16/168563480/after-tragedy-nonbelievers-find-other-ways-to-cope
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/21/grief-without-god-challenge-atheists_n_1285359.html
Christian Scripture and Rituals for Those who Grieve
March 28, 2013 by Leave a Comment
To commemorate the Easter holiday on March 31st, this installment of the Diverse Expressions of Grief series will cover various Christian scripture and rituals that address loss and grief. After a brief background on Christianity, it will explore selections from songs, rituals, and scriptures intended to comfort both those who are deceased and those who grieve the deceased.
Background on Christianity
Christianity, like Judaism and Islam, is an Abrahamic religion, or a religion that traces its origins back to Abraham. Its foundational belief is that Jesus is the Son of God as well as the Messiah, due to the fact that the Holy Spirit, or God, conceived him. As an adult, he founded the Christian Church through his ministry. His life is upheld as a model for a virtuous life for Christians and is referred to as the gospel.
Because of his ministry, Jesus was tried, arrested, and crucified for religious crimes. It is believed that he rose from the dead three days after his execution and ascended into Heaven. His crucifixion and resurrection are seen as his atonement for human sins that thus granted all non-divine humans the ability to be with God after they die. While many associate the Easter holiday primarily with egg hunting and the Easter Bunny, the Christian celebration of the holiday is meant to commemorate the resurrection of Jesus.
Christian scripture is contained within the Christian Bible, also referred to as the Holy Bible. It is primarily divided into the Old Testament and the New Testament, with slight variations in the inclusion, exclusion, or rearrangement of religious texts between different Christian branches and denominations. The Old Testament consists of the Tanakh, or Hebrew Bible, plus additional deuterocanonical books, all of which contain stories also associated with Judaism and Islam. The New Testament consists of the four Canonical gospels, Acts of the Apostles, 21 Epistles, and the Book of Revelations.
Christianity is currently the most prevalent religion globally, with about 1/3 of the world’s population identifying as Christian. Because of global colonialization and missionary efforts, Christianity can be found in virtually every country of the world, with the heaviest concentrations in North America, Central America, South America, Central and Southern Africa, Europe, and Southwest Asia. It is divided into three main branches: Catholicism, Orthodox Christianity, and Protestantism.
Gutenberg Bible
Christian Scripture and Rituals for Those Who Grieve
Christian scripture and rituals repeatedly address loss and grief through stories, prayers, songs, and tradition ceremonies. Below are selections from Christian scripture and rituals that address grief:
De Profundis
Psalm 130, which is more commonly known as De Profundis or A Song of Ascents, is a song from the Old Testament that is sometimes used in guided prayers for those who have died. A translation from the Hebrew text is as follows:
From the depths I have cried out to you, O Lord;
Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive
to the voice of my supplication.
If you, Lord, were to mark iniquities, who, O Lord, shall stand?
But with you is forgiveness, that you may be revered.
I trust in the Lord;
My soul trusts in his word.
My soul waits for the Lord.
More than watchmen wait for the dawn, let Israel hope in the Lord.
For with the Lord there is mercy, and with him is plenteous redemption.
And he will redeem Israel from all his iniquities.
The psalmist is in deep misery, as evident from the imagery of crying out “from the depths,” evoking the ocean and its historical symbolism for death. The psalmist begins from this place of misery by pleading with God for mercy, but then resolves by the end that he/she has eternal trust in God’s forgiveness. Additionally, he/she also states that this forgiveness is provided to more than just him/her, implying that God’s forgiveness is for everyone. With this inference, God’s mercy is also implicitly granted upon any deceased person the prayer is recited for.
Requiem Mass
The Requiem Mass, or Mass for the Dead, is the Catholic ceremony for the repose of souls of the deceased. It is frequently carried out within the context of a Catholic funeral.
A Catholic mass is a worship service that draws from both Christian scripture and Catholic tradition. The Requiem Mass can be found in the Roman Missal, one of many liturgical books that contain prayers and instructions for Catholic mass services.
The Requiem Mass has been set to music frequently throughout history. One of the most popular musical compositions of the mass is Gabriel Fauré’s Requiem in D Minor, a short 35-minute choral-orchestral piece completed in 1890. “In Paradisum”, the final movement of the piece, corresponds to the final text from the Requiem Mass that is sung as the body of the deceased is carried out of the church. Translated from Latin:
May Angels lead you into paradise;
may the Martyrs receive you at your coming
and lead you to the holy city of Jerusalem.
May a choir of Angels receive you,
and with Lazarus, who once was poor, may you have eternal rest.
An audio recording of “In Paradisum” from Fauré’s Requiem can be found here.
Scripture Selections
There are many answers to the most common questions and fears of those who grieve contained within the scripture of the Bible. One recurring answer is that those who are hurting deeply from grief will find comfort:
“The Lord is near to those who are broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)
Another recurring message is that even if the pain of grief feels as if it will never end, like everything else, it too shall pass:
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)
“Blessed are those who weep now, for you will laugh.” (Luke 6:21)
And lastly, there are reminders for people to hold each other up, in both good and bad times:
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. (Romans 12:15)
Reflections
A recurring theme in Christian scripture and rituals that address loss and grief is trust. There is the reminder to trust in God for mercy; to trust that the souls of the deceased will journey safely to eternal rest; and to trust that the pain of grief does not last forever. Whether taken within the context of the Christian faith or simply taken as universal truths, the messages within Christian scripture and rituals can remind grievers in even the deepest of pain that while there is anguish in grief, there is no need to suffer further anguish from fearing what may come. This appeal to simply have trust that it will be alright is a comforting message for any griever, regardless if they are a Christian or not.
About the Author:
Hilary Dockray came to know The Christi Center through her full-time field internship as a graduate student from The University of Texas at Austin’s School of Social Work. Her favorite hobby is writing, so she is delighted to continue to advocate for the understanding of grief and those who grieve as a guest blogger for The Christi Center.
Here are just some of the links that I used to research for this installment of the DEG series, and where you can learn more about Christian scripture and rituals related to loss and grief:
Christianity
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianity
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus
http://christianity.about.com/od/holidaytips/qt/whatiseaster.htm
Psalm 130 (De Profundis):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psalm_130
http://www.medievalist.net/psalmstxt/ps129.htm
Requiem Mass:
http://www.catholicbridge.com/catholic/mass.php
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Requiem
Scripture Selections on Grief:
http://www.counseling4christians.com/Scriptures/Grief%20Scriptures.html
Islamic Rituals for the Dying and Deceased
March 8, 2013 by 2 Comments
This is part of our Diverse Expression of Grief series, written by Hilary Dockray. This article is intended as an educational piece to share other cultures’ beliefs around death, grief, and the afterlife. By examining other cultures throughout our history, we can see how our current-day thoughts surrounding death and grief may have been shaped and gain insight into our current understanding of these matters.
Basic Elements of Islam
Islam, like Christianity and Judaism, is a monotheistic religion that traces its origins back to Abraham. It considers Abraham, Moses, Jesus, and certain other figures also notable in Christianity and Judaism to be prophets of God, but holds Muhammad as the last and most significant prophet of God.
Born in about 570 CE, Muhammad did not begin developing what would become Islam until 610. He soon began to preach to the public and gain followers, who recorded the verses he received from God until his death in 632. These verses recorded over the last 22 years of his life comprise the Quran, Islam’s primary religious text. Additionally, many stories that also appear in Christian and Jewish religious texts, such as the Bible and the Torah, also appear in the Quran in similar forms.
Included in the Quran and the foundation for Islamic life are the Five Pillars of Islam, which consist of five basic acts that are obligatory for followers. These five acts include pronouncing the Islamic creed that there is only one God and that Muhammad is the messenger of God (Shahada), daily prayers performed five times a day (Salah), the giving of alms (Zakat), fasting during the month of Ramadan (Sawm), and making a pilgrimage to Mecca at least once in one’s lifetime if one is physically able to (Hajj).
Another significant religious text of Islam is the Hadith, which is sometimes also referred to as Sunnah. While the two concepts are closely intertwined, they can be understood as follows: Sunnah denotes the Islamic practice that Muhammad lived by and taught to others, and the Hadith is comprised of sayings from Muhammad that support the practice of Sunnah. The Hadith both adds to the Quran as well as clarifies teachings within the Quran.
Today, Islam is the world’s second largest religion, with nearly 1 in 4 people in the world identifying as Muslim. Approximately 25% of people who are Muslim reside in South Asia, 20% in Southwest Asia, 15% in Sub-Saharan Africa, and 13% in Indonesia. Significant minorities of people who are Muslim can also be found in Russia, China, and the Americas. The two most practiced denominations of Islam are Sunni (75-90%) and Shi’a (10-20%).
Islamic Rituals for the Dying and Deceased
Most followers of Islam practice special rituals for preparing the dying and the deceased. The Talqeen is performed for those who are dying to ensure they are spiritually ready for the journey into death. The person leading the Talqeen says to the dying person:
In the name of Allah and on the creed, religion and faith of Rasulullah (apostle or messenger of God). O! Allah, ease upon him his matters, and make light for him whatever comes hereafter, and honor him with Your meeting and make that which he has gone to better than that which he came out from.
After those who are present have the opportunity to share their own prayers, the person leading the Talqeen then encourages the dying person to recall the Shahada before taking their last breath: I bear witness that (there is) no god except Allah; One is He, no partner hath He, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His Servant and Messenger.
Once the person has passed away, the next step is to perform the ghusl, or the washing of the deceased’s person body. The ghusl can can be done by most adult family members of the same sex as the deceased. After the body is washed, it is then enshrouded, typically in plain, white cloth.
The funeral that follows the washing and shrouding is guided by the Salat al-Janazah, the Islamic funeral ceremony and prayer set. In addition to family and close friends, adults from the local Muslim community who are able to attend should be present, as it is considered an obligatory duty to do so. The deceased’s body is lain out in front of the Imam leading the ceremony, and those present for the funeral line up in an odd number of rows before the deceased’s body. The Imam then guides a set of prayers that are as follows:
Allahu Akbar prayer, said by Imam and then echoed by those present: God is Greater
Sanaa prayer, recited only by the Imam: In the name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful. Praise be to God, the Lord of the Universe, the Compassionate, the Merciful, Sovereign of the Day of Judgment! You alone we worship, and to You alone we turn for help. Guide us to the straight path, the path of those whom You have favored, not of those who have incurred Your wrath, nor those who have gone astray.
Allahu Akbar prayer, repeated: God is Greater
Durood prayer, recited only by the Imam:Allah, we ask You to raise the rank of Muhammad, and have mercy upon the Al (family, friends, and everyone else present for the funeral) of Muhammad, as You raised the rank of Ibrahim (Abraham), and the Al of Ibrahim. Verily, You are the One Who deserves to be praised and thanked, and the One Who is glorified. O Allah, we ask You to bless Muhammad, and the Al of Muhammad, as You blessed Ibrahim, and the Al of Ibrahim. Verily, You are the One Who deserves to be praised and thanked, and the One Who is glorified.
Allahu Akbar prayer, repeated: God is Greater
Dua prayer for an adult (varies for age and sex), recited only by the Imam: Allah, grant forgiveness to our living and to our dead, and to those who are present and to those who are absent, and to our young and our old folk, and to our males and females. O Allah! Whomsoever you grant to live, from among us, help him to live in Islam, and whom of us you cause to die, help him to die in faith. Grant especially this dead person your ease, rest, forgiveness and consent Allah, if he acted well, then increase for him his good action, and if he acted wrongly, then overlook his wrong actions. Grant him security, glad tidings, generosity and closeness to you. We seek Thy blessings, Thou art the most Merciful.
Allahu Akbar prayer, repeated: God is Greater
Salaam prayer, recited by everyone present: May the peace and mercy of Allah be upon you.
After the Salat al-Janazah prayer set is completed, those present may line up and observe the deceased person for a final time before moving to the burial ground. The deceased is laid on their right side by male family members in a dug grave, preferably facing towards Mecca. As the dirt is beginning to be thrown into the grave by hand or by a shovel, the person doing so should say:
Out of it We (Allah) created you,
And into it We deposit you,
And from it We shall take you out once again.
Reflections
I came away from studying these rituals deeply appreciating the care and respect that the dying and deceased are given as they transition from life into death. The Talqeen is done to ensure the dying person is spiritually ready for their journey into death; the family gently cares for the person’s body once they have died; an Imam and members of the community gather together to pray for the deceased; and then the family lowers the deceased into the ground, with a few last words that again connect the person’s life and death to their spirituality.
Caring for a person through their journey into death is not unique to Islam, however; many cultures, faiths, and groups around the world carry out memorial and funeral rituals that often bear many resemblances to those of Islam. It is very likely that throughout your life you have participated in one or more memorial or funeral services to honor someone who has died. The fact that performing memorial and funeral rituals seems to be an apparent human need does not make these rituals any less profound, however. They are often deeply personal, spiritual, or both, and can be some of the most beautiful goodbyes we give in our lives.
About the Author:
Hilary Dockray came to know The Christi Center through her full-time field internship as a graduate student from The University of Texas at Austin’s School of Social Work. Her favorite hobby is writing, so she is delighted to continue to advocate for the understanding of grief and those who grieve as a guest blogger for The Christi Center.
Here are just some of the links I used to research for this entry in the Diverse Expressions of Grief series, and where you can also learn more about Islam and its rituals and prayers for the dying and the deceased:
Background on Islam:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muhammad
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quran
The Talqeen:
http://www.srvic.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/GhusulDuaas.pdf
Salat al-Janazah and the Islamic Funeral:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/2534816/The-Janazah-Funeral-Prayer-Burial-In-Islam
http://www.janazahservices.com/salataljanazah.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamic_funeral
Ancient Aztec Perspective on Death and Afterlife
February 11, 2013 by 7 Comments
This is part of our Diverse Expression of Grief series, written by Hilary Dockray. This article is intended as an educational piece to share other cultures’ beliefs around death, grief, and the afterlife. By examining other cultures throughout our history, we can see how our current-day thoughts surrounding death and grief may have been shaped and gain insight into our current understanding of these matters.
Aztec Calendar
Ancient Aztec Civilization: Life and Afterlife
The ancient Aztec civilization had a perspective on life and afterlife that is remarkably different from the perspectives of many modern cultures. It was largely shaped by their religion, which permeated nearly every aspect of ancient Aztec life.
Background on Ancient Aztec Civilization
The term Aztec can refer to certain native ethnic groups that have lived in what is today Mexico. It can also refer to those people who spoke the Nahuatl language and lived in Mesoamerica from the 14th to 16th centuries. The most specific group of people the term Aztec can refer to, and is the definition most people relate to the term, are the people of Mexica ethnic descent who founded the city of Tenochtitlan in 1325 and subsequently developed the Aztec empire. Tenochtitlan was the capital of the empire until Spanish conquer in 1521 and was the heart of ancient Aztec civilization.
The ancient Aztec civilization was highly advanced, claiming accomplishments in architecture, mathematics, medicine, language, farming, and technology. The Aztecs also developed and lived by two calendar systems that served different purposes: a solar calendar that measured time, and a ritual calendar for religious festivals. Their government, political, military, and class structures were highly developed and complex. They entertained themselves with art, poetry, games, and sports, the latter being so central to Aztec life that the celebrity of their successful athletes rivaled that of modern professional athletes.
But what the Aztecs may be most notable for was their religion, and specifically the mass human sacrifice it called for. Human sacrifice carried out for religious purposes is not unique to ancient Aztec civilization, but the scale of human sacrifice the Aztecs performed is; historians estimate that the Aztecs sacrificed thousands of people every year. People within the Aztec empire were used for human sacrifice, but the Aztecs also warred with outsiders for the express purpose of capturing more candidates for human sacrifice.
Why did the Aztecs commit human sacrifice, and in such great numbers? They believed that those who were sacrificed provided crucial nourishment to many of their deities who would in turn keep nature and the cosmos in balance. In the Aztec’s creation story, several gods had to sacrifice themselves in order to sustain the weak god who nobly sacrificed himself to create the sun. This initial mass sacrifice by the deities was not enough, however; they also called on the Aztecs to continually perform human sacrifices as a means to maintain the movement of the sun as well as to repay the deities for their sacrifices.
Aztec Perspective on Life, Death, and the Afterlife
Since human sacrifice and obtaining candidates for human sacrifice dominated much of Aztec life, warriors and those who were sacrificed received great glory and honor for what they did. But the trade-off of this was that life could be tenuous and short. How did these conditions for life affect how the Aztecs viewed death? Many people in the past and today believe that if people have afterlives, what a person’s afterlife is like is determined by how that person lived. In contrast, the Aztecs believed that how a person died determined what that person’s afterlife was like.
There were different realms a person could go to in their afterlife. Warriors who died in battle or by sacrifice either went to a paradise in the east and joined the sun’s rising in the morning, or joined the war god Huitzilopochtli in battle. Women who died in childbirth were considered just as courageous and honorable as warriors who died, and thusly went to a paradise in the west and joined the sun’s descent in the evening. People who died from lightning, drowning, certain diseases, or particularly violent deaths went to Tlalocan, a paradise presided over by the god Tlaloc located within the Aztec’s thirteen heavens.
In contrast, those who died of most illnesses, old age, or an unremarkable death went to Mictlan, the Aztec underworld. Once in Mictlan, a person had to traverse through a harsh terrain with many trials in order to descend from Mictlan’s top level to its final ninth level. This grim path for those who died in more ordinary ways highlights how Aztecs perceived both life and death; in general, there was greater esteem for people who died from premature but honorable deaths than for people who avoided these endings and managed to grow into old age.
Aztec Expressions of Grief in Writing
The Aztec’s mass human sacrifices and grim afterlife in Mictlan paints a picture of a civilization that could be harsh both in life and death. Aztec poetry and prayers provide a softer contrast to this harshness, however, such as in this prayer:
Oh, only for so short a while you have loaned us to each other,
because we take form in your act of drawing us,
and we take life in your painting us, and we breathe in your singing us.
But only for so short a while have you loaned us to each other.
Because even a drawing cut in obsidian fades,
and the green feathers, the crown feathers, of the Quetzal bird lose their color,
and even the sounds of the waterfall die out in the dry season.
So, we too, because only for a short while have you loaned us to each other.
This prayer reveals a tenderness for the bonds made between people in life that could not even be extinguished by the honor that came from death in sacrifice or battle. Words captured loss and grief again for the Aztecs in poetry on the fall of the empire to the Spanish conquistador Cortés, such as in this poem composed by an Aztec poet in the mid 1520s:
Nothing but flowers and songs of sorrow
are left in Mexico and Tlatelolco,
where once we saw warriors and wise men.
We know it is true
that we must perish,
for we are mortal men.
You, the Giver of Life,
you have ordained it.
We wander here and there
in our desolate poverty.
We are mortal men.
We have seen bloodshed and pain
where once we saw beauty and valor.
We are crushed to the ground;
we lie in ruins.
There is nothing but grief and suffering
in Mexico and Tlatelolco,
where once we saw beauty and valor.
Have you grown weary of your servants?
Are you angry with your servants,
O Giver of Life?
The poetry about the fall of the empire is particularly wrenching because the Aztecs mourned not only the loss of all of those who died, but also the loss of their home and their way of life. While often vilified for their mass human sacrifices, the Aztecs were also an advanced civilization with a rich culture. Many people think their beliefs were incomprehensible or anathema and therefore cannot relate to the Aztecs, but they lost nearly everything they knew, created, and achieved, and that is a feeling that many throughout human history could relate to.
But while the empire was gone, the Aztecs did not disappear entirely; Tenochtitlan became Mexico City, and many modern people of Mexican descent can claim Aztec/Mexica ancestry. Some people were thought to reincarnate after death into a different living being, sometimes into butterflies or birds. The Aztec empire, in a way, reincarnated into something different as well.
About the Author
Hilary Dockray came to know The Christi Center through her full-time field internship as a graduate student from The University of Texas at Austin’s School of Social Work. She is expecting her MSSW in December of 2012 and hopes to work in nonprofit administration and management. She is an advocate for the understanding of grief and the support of those who grieve in both her personal and professional lives. Her favorite hobby is writing, so she is delighted to be a guest blogger for The Christi Center.
Here are just some of the links I used to write this entry of the Diverse Expressions of Grief series, and where you can also learn more about the ancient Aztec civilization and its perspective on life and afterlife:
General information on the Aztecs:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aztec
http://aztec.com/page.php?page=home2
In-depth account on the fall of the Aztec empire to the Spanish:
http://emsc33.nysed.gov/ciai/socst/ghgonline/units/4/documents/LeonPortilla.pdf
Information about Aztec beliefs on afterlife:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mictlan
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tlalocan
http://www.deathreference.com/A-Bi/Aztec-Religion.html
Source for Aztec prayer: Rupp, J. (1988). Praying our goodbyes. Ave Maria Press.
Source for Aztec poem: (1973). L. Hanke (Ed.), Latin America: A Historical Reader. The Book Service Ltd.
More poetry can be found here:
Reflections on “Festivals of the Dead”
January 31, 2013 by Leave a Comment
This is part of our Diverse Expressions of Grief series, written by Hilary Dockray.
Reflections
Samhain is yet another example of a “festival of the dead,” or an ancient cultural holiday that celebrates and honors the deceased. These “festivals of the dead” can be found in long-standing ethnic or spiritual cultures from around the world, and most were developed independently from each other. This pattern suggests that staying connected with the deceased is a universal human desire.
While most of these ancient “festivals of the dead” developed independently from each other originally, more and more they are being influenced by each other. The history of Christianity’s All Saints’ Day, Samhain, Halloween, Wicca, and Día de Los Muertos illustrate this process.
The word Halloween was derived from “All Hallows’ Eve,” which was also known as “All Saints’ Eve,” the eve of Christianity’s All Saints’ Day. In fact, All Saints’ Day was originally celebrated in May, but the date was changed to November 1st, with October 31st thus becoming its eve, to coincide with Samhain’s celebration of the deceased. In this case, Samhain influenced All Saints’ Day as well as Halloween.
As explored in the entry on Día de Los Muertos, in the 16th century the holiday was a victim of the Spanish attempt to eradicate Aztec culture. The holiday was originally about a month long, but was reduced by the Spanish to November 1st and 2nd so that it would coincide Christianity’s All Saints’ Day. In this case, All Saints’ Day influenced Día de Los Muertos.
Furthermore, while Samhain is not often celebrated as it originally was anymore, its traditions live on in various holidays. As explored in the section before, many secular aspects of Samhain are now the basis of Halloween. Conversely, many spiritual aspects of Samhain are now practiced by Wiccans and other Neopagans.
This intersection of “festivals of the dead” illustrated above is part of the greater reality that as humans are becoming more connected to each other through globalism, our cultures are becoming more connected as well.
In fact, the “Diverse Expressions of Grief” blog series itself illustrates this increasing interaction between world cultures. One purpose of the blog series is to hopefully provide different tools from various cultures around the world that readers can appropriate for their own grief processes; this is a small but accurate example of the larger cultural transference between grief and mourning rituals.
With all of this in mind, learning about the colorful history of Samhain and its influence on modern celebrations was a reminder to myself, and perhaps to you as well, that no matter how foreign a grief or mourning ritual might seem, it is still yours to identify with and use if you so desire, because it is probably more relevant to your life and your history than you may even realize.
About the Author:
Hilary Dockray came to know The Christi Center through her full-time field internship as a graduate student from The University of Texas at Austin’s School of Social Work. She received her MSSW in December of 2012 and hopes to work in nonprofit administration and management. She is an advocate for the understanding of grief and the support of those who grieve in both her personal and professional lives. Her favorite hobby is writing, so she is delighted to be a guest blogger for The Christi Center.
Here are just a few of the links that I used for my research where you can also learn more about Samhain, Neopaganism, and Wicca:
Original Samhain and Its Evolution:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samhain
http://altreligion.about.com/od/holidaysfestivalsevents/f/Samhain.htm
http://www.adf.org/rituals/celtic/samhain/
Wicca, Neopaganism, and Neopagan Samhain:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wicca
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neopaganism
http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/samhainoctober31/p/Samhain_History.htm
http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/samhainrituals/Samhain_Rituals_and_Ceremonies.htm
Samhain: the Gaelic “Festival of the Dead”
January 14, 2013 by 1 Comment
This is part of our Diverse Expression of Grief series, written by Hilary Dockray.
Samhain Festival
Samhain is an old Gaelic festival with a long and interesting history. In this installment of the Diverse Expressions of Grief series, we will explore its origins, how it is celebrated today, and its contribution to the world’s collection of “festivals of the dead.”
Origins of Samhain
Samhain was originally a Gaelic festival that celebrated the transition from the harvest season to winter. It was typically celebrated from October 31st through November 1st, or between the autumn equinox and the winter solstice.
Anything of Gaelic origin is from or relates to the Gaels, the ethnic and linguistic people that have historically populated the islands that today comprise the United Kingdom. Samhain is believed to have originated from ancient Ireland; in fact, many important events in Irish mythology happen or begin on Samhain.
In the original celebration of Samhain, the more practical rituals included taking stock of food stores, supplies, and livestock in preparation for winter. It was also a time for the community to come together and feast. This extravagant feast both commemorated the hard work of the harvest season and served as a last indulgence before winter set in.
Most of the rituals of Samhain, however, had a spiritual purpose. The spiritual rituals of Samhain were based on the belief that as the world was transitioning from the light of the harvest season to the dark of winter, the door between the worlds of the living and spirits was open. Visitors to the living world included both spirits of the deceased and fairies.
These visiting spirits and fairies were perceived and treated in a variety of ways. The spirits of deceased loved ones were treated with high regard. Living relatives often took care to put out place settings for deceased loved ones at Samhain feasts as a way to honor them. Often, they would also implore for the spirits of these honored deceased loved ones to bestow some blessing on them in return.
Unfriendly fairies and the spirits of those who may have been holding onto a grudge were treated with fear, however. The living warded off these fairies and unhappy spirits with special lanterns, costumes, and masks. The lanterns used for Samhain, called turnip lanterns, were made from turnips or beets and often had a face carved into them to scare off spirits and fairies. The wearing of costumes and masks was called “guising” because it was also meant to deceive or scare away spirits and fairies. The ritual of “guising” sometimes included a group of children led by an adult going from door to door to ask neighbors for contributions and donations for the communal Samhain feast.
Other spiritual rituals of Samhain included bonfires. The Samhain bonfires are thought to have had different meanings and purposes at different places and at different times. For some, the smoke was thought to have blessing or protective powers. For others, walking between two bonfires was thought to be a purifying ritual. And for others, bonfires may have been for rituals as dire as human sacrifice or as mundane as burning the bones of cattle that were slaughtered in preparation for winter.
Yet another spiritual ritual popular at Samhain was divination. It was used to predict a variety of future events, including who a person’s future spouse would be, where one would live, and how many children one would have. The shape of an apple’s peeling, where nuts roasted on an open fire popped, and in which direction crows flew when chased are just a sampling of the various divination rituals people would perform.
Overall, while it was in part a practical preparation for the changing seasons, the original Samhain was also both an exciting celebration for the community and a time for communing with the spiritual aspects of their lives.
Modern Celebrations of Samhain
Celtic Spirals
While originally only celebrated by Gaels, today people all over the world celebrate Samhain, including the Irish, the Scottish, other people of Gaelic descent, and certain Neopagans.
Neopaganism refers to the variety of contemporary religious movements that are derived from or influenced by historical pagan beliefs from pre-Modern Europe. Samhain is one of the most important observances of Wicca, arguably the most recognizable Neopagan religious movement of the modern world.
Like those who celebrated the original Samhain, Wiccans see Samhain as the time when the barrier between the worlds of the living and the spirits of the deceased is thinnest. Many Wiccans take advantage of this by performing various rituals to honor and communicate with the spirits of their ancestors. These rituals can include creating altars for deceased loved ones, reciting prayers for ancestors, meditation, and holding séances.
In Wicca, séances are ceremonies in which a group of people communicates via a medium with the spirits of deceased loved ones. Different rituals are often used to initiate the communication, including lighting candles, burning incense, and having the group sit in a circle and hold hands to create good energy. The medium initiates conversation with spirits, and then the medium (or anyone else a spirit chooses to communicate through) shares messages from the spirits to the group.
While only select groups of people still celebrate Samhain, many other people around the world celebrate derivations of Samhain or cultural holidays very similar to Samhain. The most notable derivation of Samhain celebrated in the United States is Halloween. The original Samhain rituals of carving turnip lanterns and “guising” have evolved into the modern-day Halloween rituals of carving jack-o-lanterns, dressing up in costumes, and trick-or-treating.
About the Author:
Hilary Dockray came to know The Christi Center through her full-time field internship as a graduate student from The University of Texas at Austin’s School of Social Work. She received her MSSW in December of 2012 and hopes to work in nonprofit administration and management. She is an advocate for the understanding of grief and the support of those who grieve in both her personal and professional lives. Her favorite hobby is writing, so she is delighted to be a guest blogger for The Christi Center.
Diverse Expressions of Grief: Jewish Mourning Prayers
December 13, 2012 by Leave a Comment
This installment of the Diverse Expressions of Grief series covers Jewish mourning prayers to commemorate the Jewish holiday Hanukkah, which in 2012 spans from the evening of December 8th to the evening of December 16th. Also called the Festival of Lights, Hanukkah is an eight-day holiday that starts on the 25th day of the Hebrew calendar month Kislev. Kislev falls any time from late November to late December in the Gregorian calendar, which means that the time frame for the holiday is different every year.
Hanukkah commemorates the rededication of the Second Temple in Jerusalem in the 2nd century BCE. The lighting of the eight candles of the menorah symbolizes the miracle of one day’s worth of oil burning for eight days during the rededication. This allowed time for more candle oil to be made without the candles ever burning out.
This installment will first provide a background on Judaism and then describe two Jewish mourning prayer services, the Mourner’s Kaddish and yizkor. It concludes with a reflection on how these Jewish mourning prayers connect to the universal experience of grief.
Background on Judaism
Judaism encompasses the religion, customs, and identity of Jewish people. It is observed in vastly different ways around the world. Some may follow the customs of Jewish people but not believe in Judaism as a religion. Conversely, others observe Judaism as a religion but do not participate in some or any of the Jewish customs. Yet others may identify as Jewish through family relations or conversion, but do not practice some or any of Jewish customs or Judaism as a religion.
This complexity with defining Judaism is due to its long 3,000-plus year history and its diffusion throughout the world. Currently, nearly all Jewish people reside in Israel, the United States, or Canada, with most of the remainder not residing in those countries located in Europe. In 2010, the world Jewish population was estimated to be 13.4 million people, or about 0.2% of the world population.
Judaism in North America is generally divided into three main denominations, Orthodox Judaism, Conservative Judaism, and Reform Judaism. Reform Judaism is currently the largest denomination of American Jews with an estimated 700,000 members. Reform Judaism defines Judaism as a religion rather than as a race or culture. It generally rejects Jewish law but does emphasize personal connection to the Jewish tradition.
Jewish religion and customs are captured in written and oral tradition. The written tradition consists of the Tanakh, or the Hebrew Bible that closely corresponds to Christianity’s Old Testament. Within the Tanakh is the Torah, also known as the Five Books of Moses. The oral tradition consists of the Mishnah, the Midrash, and the Talmud.
Jewish Mourning Prayers
Mourner’s Kaddish
The Kaddish is an Aramaic prayer that is approximately 2,000 years old. It is composed in Aramaic as opposed to the more traditional Hebrew because Aramaic was the common language of the Jewish community at the time of its writing.
Slightly different variations of the Kaddish are used for a variety of prayer ceremonies, but it is most often used for mourning. Because of this distinction, when someone mentions the Kaddish, the Mourner’s Kaddish is typically the version of the prayer being implied.
When a parent, child, sibling, spouse, or relative dies, according to Jewish custom the person’s mourners are to recite the Mourner’s Kaddish on a daily or weekly basis ranging from one month to eleven months. The frequency and length of time the Kaddish is performed in the first year depends on the type of loss and how often the mourners can feasibly perform the prayer ritual. After the first year, the Kaddish is performed every Yahrtzeit, or anniversary of the loved one’s death. The mourner or mourners are to recite the Mourner’s Kaddish at a synagogue with a minyan, or a quorum of ten adults.
If the Kaddish is not about death and mourning, then why is it commonly used as a mourning prayer? The Kaddish simply praises God and expresses yearning for God’s presence on Earth; this basic salutation is appropriate for many of life’s events, including death and grief. In the context of mourning a loved one, the custom of reciting the Kaddish repeatedly is intended to comfort the living, cleanse the soul of the deceased, and communicate to God that those grieving still believe in God despite the pain of their loss.
Here is a translation of the Mourner’s Kaddish:
“May the great Name of God be exalted and sanctified, throughout the world, which he has created according to his will. May his Kingship be established in your lifetime and in your days, and in the lifetime of the entire household of Israel, swiftly and in the near future; and say, Amen.
May his great name be blessed, forever and ever.
Blessed, praised, glorified, exalted, extolled, honored elevated and lauded be the Name of the holy one, Blessed is he- above and beyond any blessings and hymns, Praises and consolations which are uttered in the world; and say Amen. May there be abundant peace from Heaven, and life, upon us and upon all Israel; and say, Amen.”
Here is a recording of the Mourner’s Kaddish being spoken:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k95UQobi83I
Here is the Mourner’s Kaddish before translation:
http://www.jewfaq.org/kaddishref.htm
Yizkor
Yizkor, which generally translates as “to remember,” is a remembrance prayer service performed at services for the Jewish holidays of Yom Kippur, Passover, Shavuot, and Sukkot. The yizkor prayer service consists of a series of prayers spoken out loud and prayers that participants read silently to themselves. Many congregations choose to follow these prayers with the Mourner’s Kaddish.
The yizkor prayers essentially ask God to remember the deceased because the person reciting the yizkor prayers pledges to give charity on behalf of the deceased. The reward for the charity performed is the chance for the soul of the deceased to join the righteous souls of people who have passed long ago. This charity performed by the living can be done through monetary donations to a charitable cause or through volunteering for a charitable cause.
Reflections on Jewish Mourning Prayers
Both the Mourner’s Kaddish and the yizkor prayer services parallel things many grieving people do as they mourn their loved ones. Many grievers find beauty in the world and their lives again even after suffering the pain of losing a loved one. Many grievers also dedicate acts of charity and kindness in the memory of their lost loved one. Some grievers do these things through their faith, as those who participate in the Mourner’s Kaddish and yizkor prayer services do. Regardless of the path taken, these acts of meaning-making are what help many grievers find the strength to keep moving forward in their lives.
About the Author:
Hilary Dockray came to know The Christi Center through her full-time field internship as a graduate student from The University of Texas at Austin’s School of Social Work. She is expecting her MSSW in December of 2012 and hopes to work in nonprofit administration and management. She is an advocate for the understanding of grief and the support of those who grieve in both her personal and professional lives. Her favorite hobby is writing, so she is delighted to be a guest blogger for The Christi Center.
Just a few of the links that I used for my research where you can also learn more about Judaism, the Mourner’s Kaddish, and yizkor:
Judaism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judaism
http://www.jewfaq.org/judaism.htm
http://www.jewfaq.org/whoisjew.htm
Mourner’s Kaddish
http://www.jewfaq.org/kaddishref.htm
http://www.mykaddish.com/mourners-kaddish.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaddish
Yizkor
http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Judaism/yizkor.html
http://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Events/Death_and_Mourning/Burial_and_Mourning/Yizkor.shtml
Buddhism and the Parable of the Mustard Seed
November 15, 2012 by 3 Comments
This is part of our Diverse Expression of Grief series, written by Hilary Dockray.
Buddha and the Origins of Buddhism
Buddha statue in Sarnath Museum
Siddhartha Gautama Buddha, more commonly referred to as Buddha, was the founding spiritual leader of Buddhism, one of the world’s major religions. He is presumed to have lived either in the 4th or 5th century BCE in what is either present-day Nepal or present-day India. Born into a royal Hindu family, he was a wealthy, pampered prince. Wishing to shield him from knowledge of human suffering, his father made sure that he did not see anyone who was sick, aged, or suffering.
At age 29, he left the palace to meet his subjects, where for the first time in his life he saw people who were sick, aged, and suffering. Distraught by how he saw his subjects live when he himself led an indulgent life, he soon escaped his palace and began living the life of an ascetic. He begged for alms on the streets and abstained from physical wants and needs, to the point of near-death.
He discovered in his ascetic journey the Middle Way, or the middle ground between self-indulgence and ascetism that would lead him to enlightenment. He sat under what is now known as the Bodhi tree and meditated for a reputed 49 days. Then, after those 49 days of meditation, he achieved enlightenment at the age of 35.
Some Basic Concepts of Buddhism
This state of enlightenment, also known as nirvana, is a state of liberation from physical wants and needs. Buddhism claims that those who have not achieved nirvana are still in samsara, or the cycle of life, death, and rebirth characterized by continuous suffering. This suffering is said to be rooted in humans’ attachment to impermanent things.
The achievement of nirvana breaks this cycle of samsara by releasing a person’s attachment to impermanent things. When a person who has achieved nirvana dies, instead of re-entering the cycle of samsara, they achieve what is called parinirvana, or a person’s full passing away. Instead of being reborn again into a new life, they truly die in all senses, dissipating completely as a being.
Buddha formed out of his path to liberation the Four Noble Truths, a central teaching of Buddhism. The Four Noble Truths describe the nature of human suffering, its causes, and how it can be overcome. The fourth Noble Truth, the Noble Eightfold Path, describes the intentional journey one must take to achieve nirvana.
The term buddha, which translates to “enlightened one,” is simply the first person to have achieved nirvana in an era. The Buddha that Buddhism is based upon thus did not become known as Buddha until after he achieved nirvana, and many believe is not the first buddha to have existed. After the buddha of each era achieves nirvana, all others who achieve nirvana after in the same era are referred to as arahants.
Kisa Gotami and the Parable of the Mustard Seed
A famous parable of Buddhism is called The Parable of the Mustard Seed. It is found in the foundational texts of Theravada Buddhism. It revolves around a woman named Kisa Gotami, who lived during the time of Buddha’s life when he had already achieved nirvana and was traveling to impart his teachings upon others.
Kisa Gotami
Kisa’s only child, a very young son, had died. Unwilling to accept his death, she carried him from neighbor to neighbor and begged for someone to give her medicine to bring him back to life. One of her neighbors told her to go to Buddha, located nearby, and ask him if he had a way to bring her son back to life.
Bringing the body of her son with her, Kisa found Buddha and pleaded with him to help bring her son back to life. He instructed her to go back to her village and gather mustard seeds from the households of those who have never been touched by the death. From those mustard seeds, he promised he would create a medicine to bring her son back to life. Relieved, she went back to her village and began asking her neighbors for mustard seeds.
All of her neighbors were willing to give her mustard seeds, but they all told her that their households had been touched by death. They told her, “the living are few, but the dead are many.”
As the day became evening and then night, she was still without any of the mustard seeds that she had been instructed to collect. She realized then the universality of death. According to the Buddhist verse her story comes from, she said:
“It’s not just a truth for one village or town, Nor is it a truth for a single family. But for every world settled by gods [and men] This indeed is what is true — impermanence” (Olendzki, 2010).
With this new understanding, her grief was calmed. She buried her son in the forest and then returned to Buddha. She confessed to Buddha that she could not obtain any of the mustard seeds he had instructed her to collect because she could not find even one house untouched by death.
Here is a passionate interpretation of what Buddha imparted upon Kisa Gotami at this point from The Buddha: His Life Retold, by Robert Allen Mitchell:
“Dear girl, the life of mortals in this world is troubled and brief and inseparable from suffering, for there is not any means, nor will there ever be, by which those that have been born can avoid dying. All living beings are of such a nature that they must die whether they reach old age or not.
As early-ripening fruits are in danger of falling, so mortals when born are always in danger of dying. Just as the earthen vessels made by the potter end in shards, so is the life of mortals. Both young and old, both those who are foolish and those who are wise – all fall into the power of death, all are subject to death.
Of those who depart from this life, overcome by death, a father cannot save his son, nor relatives their kinsfolk. While relatives are looking on and lamenting, one by one the mortals are carried off like oxen to the slaughter. People die, and their fate after death will be according to their deeds. Such are the terms of the world.
Not from weeping nor from grieving will anyone obtain peace of mind. On the contrary, his pain will be all the greater, and he will ruin his health. He will make himself sick and pale; but dead bodies cannot be restored by his lamentation.
Now that you have heard the Tathagata [a term Buddha used to refer to himself], Kisa, reject grief, do not allow it to enter your mind. Seeing one dead, know for sure: ‘I shall never see him again in this existence.’ And just as the fire of a burning house is quenched, so does the contemplative wise person scatter grief’s power, expertly, swiftly, even as the wind scatters cottonseed.
He who seeks peace should pull out the arrow lamentations, useless longings, and the self-made pangs of grief. He who has removed this unwholesome arrow and has calmed himself will obtain peace of mind. Verily, he who has conquered grief will always be free from grief – sane and immune – confident, happy, and close to Nirvana, I say” (Allen, 1991).
Kisa entered the first stage of enlightenment from her experience. She decided to become a disciple of Buddha’s and went on to become the first female arahant.
Reflections on The Parable of the Mustard Seed
What can we take away from this parable? Losing a child or any dear loved one to death is a tragedy no one wants to face. When faced with such painful loss, we can feel like Kisa, with grief so unbearable that we wish for anything to make the death not be real.
But as Kisa learned when she could not collect a single mustard seed, death is universal. Nearly everyone at some point in their life loses a loved one to death. This is part of the impermanence of things that Buddhism speaks of.
Despite the fact that nearly all of us experience the loss of loves ones, this does not make the pain of these losses any easier to bear. How do we cope? It is different for everyone, but we typically find ways to carry on. For Kisa, it was her epiphany that she came to through the Buddha’s lesson that helped her cope.
It is one story among countless throughout human existence of how a person has suffered great loss and yet learned in their own way to move forward. Grief can often leave a person feeling isolated, confused, and as if they will never be able to cope. But reading stories like Kisa’s show that even long, long ago, others have felt the same way, and yet they found a way through. For the griever, it is a reminder that you are never truly alone in your experience.
About the Author:
Hilary Dockray came to know The Christi Center through her full-time field internship as a graduate student from The University of Texas at Austin’s School of Social Work. She is expecting her MSSW in December of 2012 and hopes to work in nonprofit administration and management. She is an advocate for the understanding of grief and the support of those who grieve in both her personal and professional lives. Her favorite hobby is writing, so she is delighted to be a guest blogger for The Christi Center.
Just a few of the links that I used to research where you can also learn more about Buddhism, Buddha, and The Parable of the Mustard Seed:
Buddhism
http://www.pbs.org/edens/thailand/buddhism.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhism
Parable of the Mustard Seed
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/noncanon/comy/thiga-10-01-ao0.html
Día de Los Muertos: A Mexican Celebration of the Deceased
November 1, 2012 by 1 Comment
Christi Center members at Dia de Los Muertos festival 2011
Evolution of the Holiday
The origins of the modern Día de Los Muertos (Day of the Dead) holiday go back to the ancient Aztecs, the collection of ethnic groups that lived in what is today Mexico. It was originally a month-long celebration overseen by and dedicated to Mictecacihuatl (pronounced ‘Meek-teka-see-wahdl’ or ‘Meek-teka-kee-wadl’), one of the Aztec deities of the underworld and called “Lady of the Dead.” The celebration fell in the ninth month of the Aztec calendar, spanning roughly between mid-July and mid-August.
When Spanish conquistadors invaded and overtook the Aztec Empire in the 16th century, the Spanish tried to eradicate Aztec culture and religion and replace it with Spanish culture and Catholicism. The month-long celebration that corresponds to Día de Los Muertos was reduced to two days, November 1st and 2nd, to coincide with the Catholic All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day. The modern Día de Los Muertos holiday still spans these two days, November 1st being dedicated to children and November 2nd being dedicated to adults. It incorporates aspects of both the original Aztec celebration and Spanish and Catholic influences brought by the conquistadors.
The holiday has diffused all over the world. It is a national holiday in Mexico, but the holiday and derivations of the holiday are practiced in the United States, Latin America, Canada, Spain, and other countries and regions around the world.
Modern Celebration of the Holiday
Particular rituals and traditions of Día de Los Muertos vary all over the world, and even within Mexico itself. We’ll explore the most common rituals and traditions of the holiday celebrated in Mexico and the United States.
An example of an altar with ofrendas (photo by Eneas)
Altars. Celebrants often created altars to their deceased loved ones inside of their homes. Some of the most important items of the altar are ofrendas, or offerings. These are things that are included specifically for the deceased’s benefit. This can include:
- Candles to welcome the spirit of the deceased back to the altar
- Marigolds and marigold petals, which symbolize death, to guide the spirit of the deceased to the altar
- Incense to also guide the spirit of the deceased to the altar
- The deceased’s favorite foods for the spirit to enjoy
- Water for the spirit of the deceased’s thirst
- Toiletries for the spirit of the deceased to freshen up with
- Favorite belongings of the deceased
- And anything else that the deceased loved in life for the spirit to enjoy again
Other items are typically included in altars as well, and have their own significant meanings to the holiday:
- Photos of the deceased
- Salt to represent the continuance of life
- Sugar skulls, which are candies made from melted sugar and then poured into molds. They can be used as ofrendas on the altar as well as enjoyed by those celebrating. The sugar skulls are often decorated with bright colors and sometimes have the name of the deceased written on their foreheads
- Pan de muerto (bread of the dead), which is a sweet bread that is an iconic treat of the holiday. It is often twisted into the shapes of bones. Like sugar skulls, it can both be used as an ofrenda and enjoyed by those celebrating
- Images of saints or other people that were role models to the deceased
- Papel picado, which are decorative pieces of cut paper that can be strung around the altar as decoration
- And anything else that those creating the altar wish to include as decoration or as an offering to the deceased
Dia de Los Muertos at Xoxocotlan Cemetery (photo by Christine Zenino)
Cleaning and visiting gravesites. Celebrants can also honor the deceased by essentially creating an altar for the deceased at the gravesite. The gravesite is first cleaned and then decorated with any of the same elements and ofrendas used in an indoor altar. Loved ones often have picnics or overnight candlelit vigils at the gravesite after decorating it. These events are typically fun times for reflection on the deceased, and can even include music for the deceased to enjoy!
Calaveras and Calacas. Calaveras, or skulls, and calacas, or skeletons, are some of the most iconic parts of the holiday.
Calaveras de azúcar, or the sugar skull candies mentioned before, is one of the most popular ways that calaveras are incorporated into the holiday.
Calaveras literarias, which translates directly to “literary skulls” and is typically shortened to just calaveras, are humorous poetic obituaries written about people who are still alive as a way to poke fun at them. Calaveras throughout history have often been published in newspapers for anyone to read. One of the most famous calaveras, published in 1910, was about ex-dictator of Mexico, General Porfirio Diaz:
The English man is a skeleton
so is the Italian
and Maximilian;
the Roman Pontiff,
all cardinals
kings, dukes and councilmen
and the Head of State
in the grave are all the same:
only a pile of skeletons.
Calaveras literarias originated as satires of political and other prominent figures, but today they can also be written about anybody and published in newspapers as a form of playful teasing between friends and relatives.
The most famous calaca of the holiday is La Catrina. Mexican artist José Guadalupe Posada created the iconic print La Calavera Catrina in 1910 to satirize the culture created by then-dictator General Porfirio Diaz. Diaz promoted the adoption of all things European and the disdain of traditional Mexican culture among the rich; this is symbolized in La Calavera Catrina by her elaborate hat, meant to signify wealthy, European culture.
Diego Rivera depicted an elegant, full-length figure of La Catrina in his mural Sueño de una tarde dominical en la Alameda Central (Dream of a Sunday Afternoon in Alameda Park), completed in 1947. From then on, the La Catrina figure gained a prominent place in Día de Los Muertos and Mexican culture as more than a symbol of satire, but an all-encompassing icon of the holiday itself. For many, La Catrina even stands as the replacement of Mictecacihuatl from ancient Aztec culture as the modern “Lady of the Dead.”
Sugar Skulls (photo by Carmichaellibrary)
Positivity of the Holiday
One of the most important aspects of Día de Los Muertos is that it views death positively. This positivity can be drawn back to its origins in ancient Aztec culture, when death was not seen as an end to a person’s existence, but instead the next chapter. The joy, celebration, and cheeky approach to death inherent in the modern version of the holiday may confuse those who have never encountered it before, since many people view death and remembering those who have died as sad and solemn things. But the sentiment behind the holiday is not to mourn, but rather to both celebrate the journey from life to death and to fondly remember and honor loved ones who have passed on.
The holiday can provide a different approach to grief in other ways as well. I talked to a friend about his experience with the holiday growing up, and he said he first grew to appreciate the holiday after his grandfather died. He said the wake and funeral for his grandfather had felt more about his family instead of his grandfather, because everyone was still saddened by losing him and thus spent the services mostly comforting each other. The first celebration of Día de Los Muertos after his grandfather’s death, however, felt more about his grandfather than them, an opportunity my friend was grateful to have. Expressing feelings of grief is certainly necessary, normal, and can still be a part of celebrating Día de Los Muertos. However, the holiday also provides an alternate expression of grief that many missing their deceased loved ones long for as well. It provides a recurring safe space for positive remembrance and reverence that is not focused on the griever, but rather the people that the griever misses.
Día De Los Muertos Celebrated Locally
Cathy and Amy at the 2011 Dia de Los Muertos parade
You can see how Día de Los Muertos is celebrated in modern Mexico in this video.
You can also see how the holiday is celebrated here in Central Texas. In this video from PBS, a woman who enjoys gardening creates a Día de Los Muertos altar and invites friends to add to it and celebrate those it honors with her.
In this video, a woman is having her face made up in the stylized calavera manner at a boutique in Austin. Making up one’s face or wearing a mask of this style is a popular way to celebrate the holiday in many places.
If you want to join in the holiday yourself, here is a website listing all of the regular Día de Los Muertos celebrations in Texas.
About the Author:
Hilary Dockray came to know The Christi Center through her full-time field internship as a graduate student from The University of Texas at Austin’s School of Social Work. She is expecting her MSSW in December of 2012 and hopes to work in nonprofit administration and management. She is an advocate for the understanding of grief and the support of those who grieve in both her personal and professional lives. Her favorite hobby is writing, so she is delighted to be a guest blogger for The Christi Center.
Here are some of the links I used in my research, and which you can use to learn even more about the origins, history, traditions, and icons of Día de Los Muertos:
General resources on the holiday:
http://www.celebrate-day-of-the-dead.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_the_dead
Calaveras Literarias:
http://www.mamalisa.com/blog/calaveras-skull-poems-the-danse-macabre/
La Catrina:
http://www.sfgate.com/mexico/mexicomix/article/La-Catrina-Mexico-s-grande-dame-of-death-2318009.php
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Calavera_Catrina
Mictecacihuatl:
